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I've never seen you with glasses before!

[ Or regular clothes, for one.

It's a relief to see her in one piece, however. Physically, Cass appears alright, but she can't be sure there isn't something. She follows after her, slipping out of her leather loafers as to not track dirt any further into the house. ]

I'm... honestly glad to see you again.

Yeah. Neither has nearly anyone else here...

[ Cassandra doesn't quite look at her as Haru comes in, unsure of what to say. This has been awkward with even the people she considers family here. She cares about Haru deeply, but they aren't even that close- what is she meant to say? She puts on the coffee machine, going through the motions. ]

I'm...happy to see you again too. [ A pause. ] It's been a real shitshow.

[ The tension in the air seems to keep mounting, Haru also at a loss what to say. Cass has been a constant in her life here and while they aren't necessarily close, Haru has always appreciated Cass's vigilance and offering to aid her when she needed it, including helping her in her own way with Haru's trauma following what Woden did to her and the others last summer. She'll always feel indebted to her. ]

What happened? I'm so sorry... I hadn't realized you were suffering this whole time. I didn't think that would happen here.

[ She always thought their two year contract was only relevant to their home world. ]

I...didn't even know for sure it would happen, for a while. But it did.

[ She forces herself to turn back to the girl. She doesn't like Haru's tone- the idea that Haru would feel she'd done something wrong. Ridiculous. Not when it's Cassandra herself who created such havoc. ]

It's not like it's your fault. And there was jack shit you could do about it, anyway. Don't feel guilty.

We could have tried to find a way, couldn't we?

[ Or was it really as futile as Cass is implying? It doesn't lessen Haru's guilt, making her feel a bit more powerless. ]

Still, I'm sorry this happened to you. No one should have to suffer like that. [ She steps closer to Cass, a hand laid flat against her chest. ]

Are you doing alright?

I...don't know if we could have. People were always looking for ways, but- who knows if there ever was one.

[ Well. There was. ] Not without someone from my world showing up who actually figured out things, anyway.

[ The alternate world where Minerva or Ananke had ported in...she doesn't even want to think of that. Cassandra seems to have trouble looking at Haru, and the girl's poise. It's almost too put together. ]

I guess? I don't even know what alright's supposed to be. Tell me I didn't miss anything too important in your life?

Nothing much has happened...

[ Well, she wants to tell Cass about Akira porting in a little while ago, but she wonders if Cass is deflecting. It's hard to say if it's intentional or not, but she remains concerned about it regardless. ]

Cassandra, you can tell me about what happened. I want to know, but... but only if you are ready to talk.

[ The coffee finishes, and Cassandra immediately pours herself a cup. Even after dying and losing her godhood, she still needs plenty. She nods towards another mug, a silent way of asking if Haru wants one. ]

You don't know how many people have asked me that. [ She shakes her head. ]

But- I can tell it again, I guess. What do you know about my world already? The whole godhood bullshit.

[ She nods toward the cup indicating a yes, then looks back at Cass, her eyes slimming as she thinks back to the information the other Pantheon gods had told her over the duration of her stay here. ]

I think mostly about the godhood contract. [ Haru, legally, cannot say ~~fuck~~ bullshit. ] You are all reincarnated time and time again, but your contract lasts two years before you...

[ But as she looks at Cass, she's puzzled. Cass isn't dead, but she doesn't look so much like a god anymore. Was it the affects of this world? ]

There was also that machine I saw in your dream. Woden's machine? But I don't know what it does.

Oh, fuck, the machine. Guess what? That did jack shit.

[ There's almost a sense of scorn to her voice, not at Haru, but at...well, the world. Cassandra jerkily sloshes more coffee into a mug for Haru, not really paying attention and nearly spilling it, before handing it to Haru. ]

Oh, and the contract could be jack shit too, if we'd known it could be. [ She sits down with a huff. ] Do you remember me telling you about Ananke? The old lady who gave us powers? She was tricking us. And Minerva, the youngest god, she was too- because they're...they're basically the same person. It's complicated. You're going to want to sit down.

[ She's being a bit intense about this. She's in a mood now. ]

[ There's a lot of information at the tip of Cass's tongue, so Haru proceeds to find a seat and ready herself. ]

I'm sorry, Ananke, the old woman... she was two people?

Remember that this happened every ninety years? Whenever the recurrence started, Minerva would show up, and at the end of the cycle Ananke would die and she'd take over with all Ananke's memories. And they were siphoning off us- do you remember anything about severed heads? Did you ever know about this? Turns out we could still live as severed fucking heads. And...that's what they'd get power from.

[ ...Those are words she just said. ]

Look, my- my point is she was using us to live forever. And she didn't care who fucking died when she did it. We never had to die.

[ Haru doesn't know a thing about severed heads, as evidenced by the colour draining a little from her face at the idea and staring at Cass in complete and utter shock. ]

That's...

[ She's not sure she can drink her coffee just yet, putting a hand up to her mouth. ]

... that's horrifying.

Mmm.

[ It's hard for her not to seem a little cold, responding to something like that. She, in many ways, appreciates Haru's attempt to understand, even if she's not expressing it- it's the kind of effort she'd make herself. ]

It turns out...the entire reason she told people that that's what they were, that they were gods if they had powers, was so she could keep up the ruse. If we'd known, we could have just realized we weren't. [ She pauses, awkwardly running a hand through her hair. The point is getting across. ] So we did.

[ Her hand slowly descends away from her mouth, but her eyes remain wide, her shoulders taut. ]

Then... you aren't a god at all?

[ But the way she gestures to herself... ]

You stopped being a god? I don't think I fully understand...

[ Cassandra stops for a moment, to articulate her position. She's sure this explanation is especially weird coming from her, someone who never embraced divinity in the same way as others. ]

I never thought I was a literal deity, but...I still believed I could prove shit to people with my powers. That somehow that made me more worth listening to. That was enough to believe in those powers. Once I knew better? That I may as well be like everyone else with some extra cigarette-lighting powers?

[ Speaking of which- she snaps her fingers. The tip of her thumb goes alight for a second, and then goes out. ]

Then it was gone. And none of us knew we could get out of it because everything Ananke had done made us think we couldn't.

A figure in power who manipulated all of you... such callousness and cruelty.

[ That sounds far too similar to ordeals she and the others have dealt with back home, so she greatly sympathizes with Cass. ]

Oh! [ She isn't expecting Cass's thumb to light up, but it's gone as quickly as it had come. ] Do you no longer have your powers?

Apparently I...do? Sort of. There were literally about two minutes between me giving them up and getting thrown back into this shitshow.

[ She wishes she had her port-in papers in front of her. She looks away, rubbing her chin in thought. ]

What I got said that I can still do the same shit, but not nearly as much. It’d make sense. Laura gave it up before everyone else, and she could still knock people out, set little fires- that sort of thing. It was the extent of what we did that was the lie, not having powers.

It sounds as if this Ananke woman needs to be stopped. What she's doing is... it is beyond wrong.

[ She eyes Cass expectantly then, hoping to hear any semblance of good news on that front. Maybe it's already been taken care of? ]

I think we just might have? By giving up our powers. She had to keep up the cycle, and if she can’t...

[ Well. What will happen to Ananke, Minerva, whatever they’re calling her now? Can she even strike out? It’s not as if Cassandra just wants to kill her, but... ]

Well, who knows what her ideas are, but I don’t think she can do much of anything to us anymore. That’s not how it works. We...might have finished it for good.

[ She hadn’t thought of it that way before. Jesus. ] We’re the last Pantheon. We should be. Fuck.

... are you happier this way?

[ It seems as it's come at a great cost, but now it sounds as if impending doom isn't looming over the Pantheon anymore. ]

[ Good question. She should be. In her own world, she thinks the answer would lean closer to yes, even with the hurt of what she'd been through, the sting of not realizing anything sooner.

But here...? ]

...I never wanted to die. That's fucking wonderful. But without being able to divine as much anymore? Right now, with what we're dealing with? Frankly, I've spent my time feeling useless.

Nobody wants to.

[ Her shoulders pinch as the words echo in her mind: I never wanted to die. A horrible, dreadful sentence to carry above one's head all this time. Haru hadn't even stopped to consider it while she was fully convinced she was Pachamama, but maybe that was Woden's doing... ]

You are not useless, Cassandra. I'm sure you will find a way.

[ She's sharp, there's still that. ]

Yes, yes, so I’ve been told.

[ Perhaps she’s grown too cynical, but she’s hearing that from everyone. She knows they’re saying the right thing, but it’s started to feel tiring.

She looks around, trying to change the topic. ]

Do you...uh, want something to eat? I think I’ve gotten Rex to buy more than oatmeal at this point.

[ There is now one thing that piques Haru's curiosity. ]

Something light and sweet, if you have.

[ She drums her fingers along the surface, her expression pensive, not meeting Cass's eyes yet. ]

... hey, Cassandra? Does this mean Woden is the same?

Edited 2019-07-28 05:02 (UTC)

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