girlybruiser | 𝓵𝓪𝓫𝔂𝓻𝓲𝓷𝓽𝓱𝓾𝓶 ❀ 𝓲𝓷𝓫𝓸𝔁

[…Unforgivable, is it. That’s a stronger word than Shinjiro had intended, and paints something of a picture. He finds himself wondering, suddenly, what she’d think of him. It might be refreshing for someone to think he’s unforgivable, for a change.

He’s not about to bring it up, though, and at any rate, he’s handily distracted by the second part of what she says, eyebrows shooting up a bit, semi-disappearing into the beanie.]

Damn, didn’t know you guys were that close already. Yeah, that’s me.

[He shakes his head, as though to wave off the thought.]

The cafe, right? Saw Arisato signin’ up to work there … he’s a reliable guy. Can’t go wrong with ‘im.

[He’s really bad at offering outright. But he doesn’t seem to be making any move to leave or disengage from the conversation, either.]

I’ll have to check it out when it’s open.

Oh, does it come across that way?

[ Haru slips into affectionate honourifics so often with people she likes, she doesn't realize the implications of doing so. ]

You know Arisato Minato?

[ Wait, are they all from the same world, then?

She'll get back to the cafe in a bit, but there's a lot of new information connecting here. So Ken, Akihiko, Shinjiro and Minato all know one another?

It doesn't occur to her Minato might be a Persona user, if only because Chihaya is from her world and has zero idea (as far as she knows) about their Personas and escapades in the Metaverse. ]

I’ve only known one other person who calls him by his first name, is all.

[He shrugs, having shaken off the surprise pretty quickly.]

S’good for him to have more friends, though. That guy gets tunnel vision about his goals real bad sometimes, doesn’t pay enough attention to himself in all that.

[King Hypocrite over here but listen. He’s gotta look out for bestie, especially now.

Anyway. He’s not sure how much Arisato’s said, and he’s about the only one of them that didn’t get outed on Sleepr, so he keeps it vague.]

Yeah. He’s a second-year at our school. We happened to live at the same dorm for awhile, too.

Edited 2025-06-21 07:38 (UTC)

It's good that you all have each other here.

[ And then there's Ken.

She's been concerned about him, the pain he's been dealt, even if on accident by Shinjiro.

Ken seems to understand that, and it's not the capacity for vengeance that concerns her as much as Ken being the youngest she's met here who seems to have been dealt an unfortunate hand in life. Haru knows the pain of parental loss and one that was met with a violent end.

Based on what Akihiko had said, it sounds as if they all had been dealt something unlucky.

After all, she remembers Shinjiro's first profile she had encountered on Sleepr. A dead boy walking. What does she even say to that? ]

... um, if it is not too much trouble, would you perhaps walk with me to the cafe? I am unsure if those two will begin tailing me again.

[Shinjiro makes some vaguely acknowledging noise at the first sentiment; he's not sure how much it counts as "having" him when he hasn't talked much to Arisato or Amada, save for some uncomfortable run-ins and awkward check-ins, but he doesn't dislike having them around -- despite not really knowing how to act or what to say around them.

Luckily, Okumura throws him a lifeline by way of making that request instead of waiting for him to offer, and he nods promptly.]

Sure, I don't mind. Lead the way.

Thank you.

[ She adjusts her purse strap on her shoulders, smoothing out her dress as she now gets her wits about her.

Even with Shinjiro, who strikes an imposing figure, it's good for her to be alert in a world where magic seems to go awry. Thankfully, she's regained Milady and can be ready this time.

They head straight down the street for now, Haru allowing silence to settle between them for a few minutes before she speaks up: ]

How have you been, Aragaki-san?

[He's perfectly comfortable in the silence, never one who's needed to fill them with empty words, though he does blink when she speaks to him again. He wasn't expecting her to ask after him, honestly.]

Huh? Been alright, I guess. 'Bout as much as you can be around here, anyway.

[Based on his experience, the other shoe is going to drop on whatever bullshit will happen next ... very soon, but for now: he's solidly Alright, which is as good as it gets with him, really.]

Edited 2025-06-21 08:19 (UTC)

What do you mean?

[ As far as Haru has learned in this world, that saying and its meaning varies between many people. ]

[He rolls a shoulder, casual.]

Y'know how it is by now, yeah? It's one of those months between shit hittin' the fan and splatterin' all over the ceiling. Calm before the storm or whatever, and you can't do shit other than just wait. S'obnoxious.

[ He's not wrong about that... at times, there's a foreboding sense when things are too quiet, waiting for the other shoe to drop, etc.

Haru turns left down a street, moving to a corner and waiting to cross, looking both ways before venturing forward. ]

You have been here somewhat longer than myself, haven't you? When was it you arrived again?

[He continues to follow along, hands tucked into his coat pockets as usual. He checks behind him from time to time as well, to be sure the dragonkin aren't following with the intent to come at her again as soon as he leaves.]

Yeah, by a couple months, anyway. Showed up in January.

Was it just you at first? Or did you have some friends here with you?

[ She's trying not to ask so directly; instead, taking her time, just as she does when they cross the street and begin heading down the block ]

[He's pretty sure this question's leading somewhere, but honestly, Shinjiro has very little to hide anymore, so he's content with just answering and letting her take the conversation where she wants.]

Just me until March, yeah. Amada and Arisato showed up about the same time. Aki was last.

[If she had any lingering question as to how close those two are, the nickname in contrast with how he addresses literally everyone else is probably a big hint.]

[ It definitely draws her attention, but Akihiko had already explained they were close childhood friends.

In spite of how gruff Shinjiro appears, and how formal Akihiko seems to be, she feels a bit envious that they've nurtured a friendship as long as their lives. Haru is glad for the friends she has, but she spent most of her life alone until last year. ]

I do not mean to be rude, but you and Amada-san...

[ She adjusts her grip on her purse, fiddling with it a tad nervously. ]

Um, that last Sleepr...

[Shinjiro stops walking. He faces her properly, as though trying to ascertain what she wanted to ask when she trailed off. Rather than prompting her to say more, he states, bluntly:]

Yeah, it's true. I killed his mom.

[...]

[Normally, he'd leave it at that, without a word of defense for himself. But since she's asked him to walk with her ostensibly for protection against unsavory elements, he'll offer one thing for her peace of mind.]

It wasn't something I meant to do, but it's still my fault she's dead. You got questions about it?

Edited 2025-06-23 05:14 (UTC)

I don't believe you did it purposely. After all, Amada-san said it was an accident as well.

[ She doesn't know Shinjiro all that well, but if there's one thing she can make out, it's that there's no malice or rage that coils around his heart.

There's no thirst for the kind of violence that begets violence.

She knows it, because she faced it once more not too long ago and stared it in the eye. Blood for blood, with raucous laughter and cruelty behind every hit. ]

I know it is not my place, but... it's difficult to put aside. Perhaps it's my own selfish feelings, as I've experienced something similar, but mine was no accident.

[ She pauses, glancing at Shinjiro from the corner of her eye. ]

I think he wishes to have a proper dialogue with you, Aragaki-san.

[He's always hated calling it an accident. It's only ever felt like an excuse. But he doesn't argue or debate the word or whether it matters, because what she says next makes it all too clear she understands. Dead is dead, no matter what. That's still a life that will never be the same as it was, a hole torn into it by someone else's hands.

He's silent a long moment, before he closes his eyes. It isn't her business, no, but he doesn't get defensive about it, because -- well, it's about Amada. Shinjiro has long considered his life as belonging to the younger boy; even if Sleepr hadn't outed the matter to all and sundry, he would've never considered himself as having a right to his privacy in that regard. He never talked about it publicly in consideration of Amada's, and even the few private conversations he's had were largely under duress.]

...I don't have anything to say for myself about it.

[What little he had, he already said through a mouth full of blood in an alley, six months ago. It was supposed to have been closure for the kid, but then some cosmic force tore him from his grave. Pried the wound open by force. It frustrates him, honestly. The cruelty of this world is exhausting.]

Already told him if he needs anything, I'll come. Beyond that...it's like you said. That shit ain't easy to deal with. I don't ... wanna be underfoot and make it harder.

[Another beat. He rubs at his neck, a little uncomfortable.]

Glad he's got more people lookin' out for him, though. He's been on his own a long time, 'cause of me.

Edited 2025-06-23 05:53 (UTC)

[ Does that not put the onus on Ken, who apparently had sought his own form of revenge? Something so deep and twisted that broiled within him, that the Oracle decided to let slip these profound emotions he had apparently been contending with?

Haru isn't sure how to feel about that, but she also doesn't want to overstep. ]

Amada-san isn't even in middle school yet, yes?

[ He might be wiser than most his age, given the grief he's been forced to endure at such a young and tender age, but... ]

Should you not be the one to reach out to him? In this case, he's a child. He might be a Persona user and it seems he's fought alongside older students, but he's still growing and learning.

[ This isn't to demean Ken or take away from his experiences. If he were present, she would be apologizing to him directly. ]

I can't imagine what it must be like to have... [ killed someone? Because Haru can't.

She had held a blade to Akechi's throat, but the intent to kill never sat at the edge of the knife. It never existed to begin with, despite everything she suffered. ] Um, but... I think Amada-san needs his senpais to be the ones to reach out.

[There is an instant that he freezes as though he's been slapped, before Shinjiro forces himself to calm down. This is not the conversation he was expecting tonight, honestly. He didn't even realize that she was close with the kid ... or maybe she isn't, and she's projecting, but even so -- he can understand, in a way. If he could keep someone from making his own mistakes, he would.

He takes a moment to breathe, forcing himself to meet her gaze properly.]

If I reach out to him, he'll feel obligated. He blames himself for the fact that I died. I tried to tell him it ain't his fault, but ...

[He sighs, shakes his head.]

It ain't...right for him to put himself through havin' me around, just because he feels guilty. Maybe it'll be different, down the line, but for now, he's got you and Aki and Arisato to help him through the shit I'd only ever make tougher to deal with.

Hell...[he makes a little noise in his throat that's like a pained chuckle, self-deprecating] practically begged Doc Maruki to look out for him too, back when I thought it might be just us here.

I ain't ever gonna send him away, but he's still better off without me, if he can be.

Edited 2025-06-23 06:50 (UTC)

[ They're at the corner of another sidewalk and her foot lifts, ready to step off the curb, but Shinjiro says: he's still better off without me, if he can be and she freezes.

Then slowly, her foot backs onto the curb, her heel clicking against cobblestone.

Her eyes face the ground, nothing remarkable about the cobblestone and some of the dirt and dust that blows through. She stares, quiet, contemplative, before she realizes— ]

My sincerest apologies, Aragaki-san.

[ Those big, brown eyes of her train on him. Gosh, he's so tall. What are these boys in Japan eating these days? Yusuke, Akechi, Shinjiro... ]

... of course you suffered, too.

[ Why else would he say such a thing so openly without any real hesitation? ]

[Whatever he thought she was going to say, it wasn't that. If he looked like he'd been slapped before he rallied earlier, this time his expression crumbles entirely in shock. It doesn't smooth out into something neutral this time, either. He'd almost look angry if his eyes weren't so pained, immediately making her point for her.]

Don't do that.

[Sharp, almost desperate.]

Nothing happened to me. Nobody ... even knows, aside from the people who were there when it happened. It was covered up, so I got away clean.

[He phrases it in the crassest way he can think of, as though to kick her sympathy out from under her, make her think better of it before it can properly take root, but his choice of words immediately betrays him. He didn't say that he covered it up, after all.]

Edited 2025-06-23 22:01 (UTC)

[ Shinji still manages to startle Haru and she inches away instinctively.

Her hand grips her purse strap, staring up at him with widened eyes, uncertain what reaction lies in wait if she says something that might upset him further. ]

... I'm very sorry. I didn't mean to overstep.

[ It isn't her place. Hearing secondhand from the others doesn't mean it's her problem to fix, even if she's worried about Ken.

Shinjiro's choice of words is odd, but maybe she needs to back off for now.

Boys have a different method of handling their emotions, after all. ]

Um, I can walk the rest of the way. Thank you for escorting me this far.

[He doesn't expect the apology. He expects it to become a fight, like it always does -- with Aki, with Qifrey, with Dolph Laserhawk.

Haru tightens her grip on her purse, stares at him with wide eyes and tries to excuse herself, and Shinjiro ... on the one hand, it's probably for the best if she does avoid him -- it's not as though he's really someone worth getting to know in the first place -- and yet. He is embarrassed, a touch, at drawing that reaction without trying to intimidate anybody. Did she think he was going to hit her or something...? Just for saying something kinder than he deserved?

He closes his eyes and breathes, just for a moment. His tone quiets, the agitation dropping out of it, though there's a distinct awkwardness that lingers.]

Shit. No, I uh ... oughta be the one apologizing, I think. Didn't mean to freak you out.

[He doesn't turn to go just yet, though.]

There anyone nearby that can pick you up? It's gettin' dark soon.

[He doesn't want to insist on taking her the rest of the way, if she's uncomfortable. But he doesn't like the idea of leaving her be when those thugs are still roaming around, either.]

Edited 2025-06-26 08:43 (UTC)

[ Unfortunately for Haru, she has the added experience of getting stabbed the last time she attempted sympathy for someone fresh on her mind. ]

Huh? Oh...

[ He's taking awful care to ensure she won't be left alone to fend for herself. Haru does appreciate it, though it simply adds another layer of mystery to Aragaki Shinjiro.

She's certain she could ask Akihiko, but some things are best left to hear directly from Shinjiro. ]

Thank you for the concern, but I can manage the rest of the way. I was simply taken off guard before.

[ Next time, she fires first, she guesses. ]

...Alright.

[He doesn't like it, but there's nothing more he can say, here. Can't even pretend to just so happen to need to go this direction, under the circumstances. Hopefully she's right and everything will be fine.]

See ya 'round, then, Okumura. Watch out for yourself.

[He turns, raising a hand in a farewell as he goes. It isn't long before he disappears into the distance, under the cover of the falling twilight.]

𝓵𝓪𝓫𝔂𝓻𝓲𝓷𝓽𝓱𝓾𝓶 ❀ 𝓲𝓷𝓫𝓸𝔁

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cw: violence mention

cw reference to death

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wrapt!